Description

Finally, science has identified the element responsible for awkward silences, lost train of thought, and the universal human condition of walking into a room and immediately forgetting why: Umium (Um). Our exclusive "Element of Confusion" t-shirt immortalizes this groundbreaking discovery in the familiar format of the periodic table. Set against a vibrant red background reminiscent of emergency situations (appropriate, given how many presentations have been derailed by this element), the bold "Um" symbol stands ready to insert itself into your most coherent thoughts.

Complete with atomic number 23 (representing the average number of seconds someone can speak confidently before Umium infiltrates their speech patterns) and the entirely made-up atomic weight of 120.284 (because confusion rarely makes mathematical sense), this shirt celebrates the scientific phenomenon that strikes when knowledge meets nervousness.

Technical Details

• Premium 100% cotton white t-shirt
• Distressed vintage-style screen printing for that "I've been studying this element for years" look
• Pre-shrunk fabric (unlike your confidence when called on unexpectedly)
• Available in unisex sizes S through 2XL
• Machine washable (cold wash, inside out)
• Tumble dry low
• Designed and printed in a laboratory-adjacent facility
• Warning: Wearing this shirt may cause spontaneous explanations of jokes to strangers
• Guaranteed to contain 0% actual Umium (it's notoriously difficult to capture)

Backstory

Legend has it that this element was discovered simultaneously by thousands of students worldwide, all at the exact moment their professors called on them unexpectedly. While absent from traditional periodic tables (thanks to the powerful academic lobby that refuses to acknowledge how frequently it appears in their own lectures), Umium has been empirically observed in presidential debates, first dates, and particularly tense job interviews.

Our design team, comprised of equal parts chemists and comedians, worked tirelessly to capture this elusive element in t-shirt form after noticing its abundant presence during their own product development meetings. The loading icon included in the design represents the universal human experience of mental buffering—that moment when your brain is frantically searching for information while your mouth is already committed to producing sound.

Perfect For

• Chemistry teachers who appreciate acknowledging the role of confusion in the learning process
• Science enthusiasts with a healthy self-awareness about their own public speaking abilities
• Students who want to proactively explain their test performance
• Anyone who's ever responded to a simple question with "Well, um, you see, the thing about that is..."
• Public speakers seeking a subtle reminder of what to avoid
• The friend who can explain quantum physics but somehow gets lost in their own neighborhood
• Office workers who want to scientifically explain their performance in impromptu meetings
• Perfect gift for that brilliant yet occasionally incoherent person in your life

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti or Guatemala

Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

Size guide