"Trust the Processor" T-Shirt

Welcome to 2024*, where cars have more processing power than the entire 1980s, and this shirt is here to celebrate that beautiful digital chaos. (*Actual future may vary, some restrictions apply, void where prohibited by the laws of computing.)

Featuring a design that answers the age-old question "What if Blade Runner had a baby with a motherboard?" this shirt showcases a stunning retro-future cityscape where muscle cars meet microsystems. The circuit traces flowing through the design are actually a map of the shortest path between "looking awesome" and "explaining why you need another graphics card."

Features:
Cotton blend fabric smoother than a perfectly optimized cache hit
Durability rated for at least 2,147,483,647 wash cycles (signed 32-bit integer max, naturally)
Print quality sharper than your compiler's error messages
Comfort levels that benchmark off the charts

Perfect for:
Tech enthusiasts who know RAM isn't just a Dodge truck
Developers who've named their car after a programming language
Anyone who's ever sweet-talked a CPU into overclocking
People who understand that "trust the processor" isn't just about computers anymore

Care Instructions:
Machine wash cold. Tumble dry low. Do not attempt to overclock your dryer. No quantum computing in the washing machine.

(Warning: May cause spontaneous discussions about Moore's Law and whether your car's computer really needs all those updates. Spoiler alert: it does.)

P.S. If this shirt doesn't compile properly, try turning it off and on again. Works 60% of the time, every time.

Available in sizes XS-3XL (because processing power comes in all configurations)

• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico

• Traceability:
- Knitting—Honduras, the Dominican Republic
- Dyeing—Honduras, the Dominican Republic
- Manufacturing—Nicaragua, Honduras, Haiti, El Salvador, or the Dominican Republic
• Contains 0% recycled polyester
• Contains 0% dangerous substances

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.