"The Garage-Built Ion Drive" Tee

Want to see the ion drive I've built in my garage? It's right between my quantum tunneling device and that box of "perfectly normal" capacitors that makes the neighbor's Wi-Fi speak in tongues. This shirt celebrates the fine tradition of backyard physics enthusiasts who see NASA's "do not try this at home" warnings as more of a challenge than a restriction.

Featuring an ion drive that looks suspiciously more advanced than anything you could cobble together from spare RadioShack parts (RIP), this design is perfect for those moments when you need to explain why your garage glows blue at night and why the local power grid experiences unexplained fluctuations during your "routine maintenance" hours.

Features:
Cotton pre-treated to resist plasma discharge
Design that makes nuclear physicists do a double-take
Durability tested in multiple parallel universes
Comfort rated for both subatomic particles and nosy HOA inspectors

Perfect for:
Garage scientists who've never met a warning label they couldn't ignore
People whose Amazon shopping history is definitely on a watchlist
Anyone who's ever made their microwave do things the manufacturer explicitly advised against
DIY enthusiasts whose projects require signing non-proliferation treaties

Care Instructions:
Machine wash cold. Tumble dry low. Do not expose to strong magnetic fields or attempt to achieve fusion in dryer.

(Warning: Wearing this shirt does not grant immunity from international atomic energy regulatory bodies. Trust us, we checked.)

Available in sizes XS-3XL (antimatter containment not included)

• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico

• Traceability:
- Knitting—Honduras, the Dominican Republic
- Dyeing—Honduras, the Dominican Republic
- Manufacturing—Nicaragua, Honduras, Haiti, El Salvador, or the Dominican Republic
• Contains 0% recycled polyester
• Contains 0% dangerous substances

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.