"SEO Specialist Walks into a Bar..." Tee - Because Keyword Stuffing is Better with Actual Stuffing

Finally, a shirt that understands both your on-page optimization and your after-hours optimization! Featuring the world's most thorough attempt at local pub targeting, this design proves that SEO specialists never really stop working - they just switch from Google Analytics to glass analytics.

Our expertly keyword-stuffed design demonstrates what happens when an SEO professional's work life collides with their social life, creating the most meticulously optimized bar crawl in digital marketing history. It's like a long-tail keyword strategy, but with more tail than long.

Features:
Cotton optimized for both comfort and crawlability
Design indexed by both search engines and bartenders
Durability that ranks on page one of washing machine results
Comfort metrics that exceed industry benchmarks

Perfect for:
Digital marketers who measure bounce rates in both websites and bar stools
SEO specialists who can't help but optimize their drink orders
Anyone who's ever tried to explain meta tags at happy hour
People who consider "time on site" and "time at bar" equally important metrics

Care Instructions:
Machine wash cold. Tumble dry low. Do not attempt to implement 301 redirects between washer and dryer.

(Warning: May cause spontaneous ranking of nearby establishments and an uncontrollable urge to optimize menu descriptions for better conversion rates. If someone asks what you're drinking, you might accidentally give them a keyword density analysis.)

Available in sizes XS-3XL (responsive design accommodates all viewport sizes)

• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico

• Traceability:
- Knitting—Honduras, the Dominican Republic
- Dyeing—Honduras, the Dominican Republic
- Manufacturing—Nicaragua, Honduras, Haiti, El Salvador, or the Dominican Republic
• Contains 0% recycled polyester
• Contains 0% dangerous substances

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

Size guide