Description

Declare your statistical determination with our "P-Value Quitting: Insignificant" t-shirt – a wearable reminder that giving up doesn't meet the threshold for statistical significance. This cleverly designed shirt features bold typography arranged in a retro-psychedelic style, with "P-VALUE" commanding attention in vibrant red, "QUITTING" transitioning through gold, and "INSIGNIFICANT" completing the statistical punchline.

The playful cosmic entity with calculating eyes seems to evaluate your life choices according to strict scientific methodology, while colorful flowers and celestial elements create a contrasting backdrop that suggests even the most rigid statistical analysis can have a creative side. Set against a vintage charcoal background reminiscent of chalkboards filled with equations, this shirt transforms a fundamental statistical concept into a motivational mantra. Whether you're a data scientist running your seventh analysis of the day, a researcher facing repeated experimental failures, or a statistics professor explaining why correlation doesn't equal causation for the hundredth time, this shirt offers the perfect blend of scientific precision and humor – statistically validated to improve morale by p<0.05.

Technical Details

• Premium cotton shirt in blackboard charcoal gray
• Screen printed design with vibrant colors and intentionally distressed details
• Pre-shrunk fabric (unlike your confidence when your data doesn't cooperate)
• Available in unisex sizes S through 3XL
• Machine washable (cold wash, inside out)
• Tumble dry low
• Designed by someone who understands the emotional journey of finding p=0.051
• Contains no actual statistical significance (but might help you achieve some)
• Confidence interval of shirt comfort: 95%

Backstory

This design materialized during a particularly grueling data analysis session when our creative director, a former research statistician, was facing the classic "almost but not quite significant" results after months of work. The realization that quitting at that point would itself be "statistically insignificant" provided both comfort and motivation to continue. The smirking cosmic entity represents that part of a researcher's psyche that knows when to persevere despite discouraging results, while the flowers and celestial elements create an intentionally contradictory aesthetic – the beauty and creativity that can emerge from rigidly structured statistical analysis.

The typography was specifically designed to embody the message itself – "P-VALUE" stands bold and important in red, while "QUITTING" transitions through gold to "INSIGNIFICANT" in a style that suggests both scientific authority and a touch of irreverent humor. Originally created as a motivational poster for a university statistics department facing grant renewal challenges, the design quickly resonated with researchers across disciplines who found both humor and encouragement in the clever statistical wordplay. The vintage-inspired aesthetic acknowledges that while statistical methods evolve, the frustration of "almost significant" results is timeless.

Perfect For

• Statisticians who've explained p-values to non-statisticians one too many times
• Data scientists who treat coffee as a controlled variable in their daily experiments
• Researchers whose relationship with SPSS has outlasted several human relationships
• PhD candidates who dream in scatter plots and wake up thinking about standard deviations
• Statistics professors with a collection of probability jokes that almost never land
• Anyone who's ever performed statistical gymnastics hoping for that magical p<0.05
• Graduate students who've considered changing their hypothesis after seeing their results
• Principal investigators who motivate their teams through multiple failed experiments
• Gift-givers shopping for that friend who can explain statistical significance at parties
• Anyone who understands that in research, persistence often matters more than initial results

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti or Guatemala

Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

Size guide