Description

Transform your wardrobe with our "Nitrates Are Cheaper Than Day Rates" t-shirt – a brilliant fusion of chemistry knowledge and linguistic wizardry that proves definitively that scientists have the best (periodic) table talk. This eye-catching design features bold, gradient typography in vibrant yellows and oranges, accented with actual nitrate molecular structures (NO₃⁻) that ensure your pun comes with proper scientific credentials.

The lightning bolt graphic emphasizes the electric wit on display, while the distressed vintage styling suggests this joke, like noble gases, never gets old. Whether you're a chemistry professor who appreciates compound wordplay, a science student looking to bond with like-minded molecules, or simply someone who enjoys jokes that require a slightly higher educational concentration than average, this shirt delivers intellectual humor with empirically tested visual appeal. It's not just apparel; it's wearable proof that while day rates might be expensive, finding common ground between chemistry and comedy is absolutely priceless.

Technical Details

• Premium cotton shirt (our bonds are strong; this fabric won't easily break down)
• Screen printed design featuring accurate nitrate molecular structures
• Pre-shrunk fabric (we've already tested its reaction to water)
• Available in unisex sizes S through 3XL
• Machine washable (cold wash, inside out)
• Tumble dry low
• Designed by someone with actual chemistry knowledge and a dangerous predisposition to puns
• Contains no actual nitrates (though the joke itself is quite explosive)
• Lightning bolt guaranteed to conduct conversations, if not electricity
• Our lab tests confirm: elicits 83% more groans than the average chemistry joke

Backstory

This design crystallized during a particularly grueling grant writing session when our creative director, a former chemistry graduate student, found themselves calculating daily laboratory expenses. The realization that "nitrates" and "day rates" formed a perfect homophonic pair created one of those rare eureka moments that didn't involve running naked through the streets.

The vibrant yellows and oranges in the gradient typography were chosen to represent the energy levels of excited electrons – much like how chemists get excited when they spot an opportunity for wordplay in the wild. The actual nitrate molecular structures were included to satisfy those detail-oriented scientists who appreciate both the humor and accuracy of their puns, while the vintage distressed style acknowledges that chemistry jokes, like fine wines and certain radioactive isotopes, only get better with time. Originally designed as laboratory morale-boosting wall art, the concept quickly proved too molecular-ly brilliant to not be wearable, allowing chemistry enthusiasts to carry their specialized humor beyond the confines of the lab and into an unsuspecting world.

Perfect For

• Chemistry professors who use dad jokes as teaching tools
• Laboratory technicians who appreciate wordplay that requires a scientific background
• Science teachers looking to simultaneously entertain and educate their students
• Chemistry students who want to bond with their peers through shared humor
• Anyone who's ever made a beaker-related pun and felt no remorse
• Scientific conference attendees seeking to start conversations with like-minded elements
• Gift-givers looking for something that says "I appreciate both your brain and your sense of humor"
• Proud nerds who enjoy jokes that might require explanation to the general public
• Anyone who knows why this joke wouldn't work with phosphates (the ph would throw everything off)
• The person at trivia night who always answers first during the science round

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti or Guatemala

Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

Size guide