Finally—a shirt that acknowledges what we've all suspected: Sir Isaac Newton wasn't just dropping apples; he was dropping gears. Our "Newton's Third Hellions Motorcycle Club" tee immortalizes history's greatest physics rebel in his rightful place as founding president of science's most notorious two-wheeled society. This vintage-inspired club patch design features the powdered-wigged revolutionary himself looking suspiciously like he just calculated the optimal angle for a wheelie while simultaneously inventing calculus.

The badge proudly displays "est. 1643" (because founding a motorcycle club before motorcycles existed is exactly the kind of paradox physicists live for) and bears the club's immortal motto: "FOR EVERY ACTION, THERE'S AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE SKID MARK." Wear it to your next department meeting and watch as colleagues instantly recognize you as both intellectually superior and questionably dangerous—a combination previously thought mathematically impossible.

TECHNICAL DETAILS

• Premium 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Pre-shrunk to prevent warping across spacetime
• Medium-heavy fabric (5.3 oz/yd²) that, like gravity, has measurable presence
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping provides structural integrity even at relativistic speeds
• Double-needle sleeve and bottom hems withstand forces up to 9.8 m/s²
• Tear-away label to reduce drag coefficient (and neck irritation)
• Classic unisex fit accommodates both theoretical and experimental physicists
• Available in sizes S-4XL (because brilliance comes in all magnitudes)
• Screen-printed using quantum-entangled inks that mysteriously appear on both sides of the shirt simultaneously
• Wash cold and tumble dry low to preserve gravitational constant across multiple wearings
• Colors: Premium Black with Newtonian Color Spectrum accents

BACKSTORY

This design was conceived during a particularly heated physics department poker night when a tenured professor lost badly to a post-doc and insisted, "That's not how probability works!" The ensuing theoretical debate about randomness somehow veered into speculation about what historical physicists would be like as bikers. Newton—with his notorious temper, tendency to challenge authority, and obsession with forces and motion—emerged as the obvious choice for club president.

The artistic direction channels both 17th-century portraiture and 1970s motorcycle club aesthetics, creating a temporal anomaly that Newton himself would appreciate. Each element has been calibrated to scientific precision: Newton's hair is shown with exactly the right number of curls to calculate π to six digits, the motorcycle blueprint is historically inaccurate by precisely 246 years, and the badge's serrated edge contains exactly as many points as there are bones in the human body that can be broken in a moderate motorcycle accident. The design has been tested in wind tunnels and found to generate 16% more spontaneous conversations than standard t-shirts, with a margin of error of ±2 raised eyebrows.

PERFECT FOR

• Physics professors seeking tenure through intimidation rather than publication
• Graduate students who've been up for 72 hours straight and have begun hallucinating Sir Isaac Newton giving them encouragement
• Engineers who secretly believe they could have invented calculus if Newton hadn't beaten them to it
• Lab technicians who ride motorcycles to work because the bus doesn't accommodate their experimental equipment
• Science teachers trying to convince students that physics can be "cool" (results may vary)
• Anyone who has ever used F=ma to calculate how fast they could theoretically take a corner
• Motorcycle enthusiasts tired of explaining that, yes, they do understand how internal combustion works
• People attending science conferences who want something to wear to both the daytime lectures and evening dive bar excursions
• Those who appreciate the perfect harmony between mathematical precision and questionable road safety
• Anyone who has ever wondered what the "equal and opposite reaction" to a burnout actually looks like (spoiler: it's impressive)

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti or Guatemala

Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

Size guide