For those whose intelligence can't be contained by a single skull

Product Description

Elevate your wardrobe to Kardashev Type II with our "Matrioshka Brain: How Tomorrow Thinks" t-shirt! This isn't just apparel—it's a wearable thought experiment that's guaranteed to baffle your relatives and attract fellow futurists from across the room like superintelligence to computational resources.

Featuring a mind-bending circular design that asks the existential question "YOU WANT INTELLIGENCE? HOW TOMORROW THINKS," this shirt introduces one of the most ambitious concepts in theoretical megastructure engineering to the unsuspecting public. The psychedelic gradient coloration evokes both the rainbow of visible light spectrum a Matrioshka Brain would capture and the visual hallucination you'd likely experience trying to comprehend its actual scale.

At the center sits a chromatic, multi-colored brain—laughably simple compared to the nested Dyson sphere supercomputer the shirt celebrates, but considerably more fashionable than an accurately-depicted astronomical anomaly would be. Think of it as cosmic computing couture that makes black holes look so last season.

The Backstory

This design celebrates the Matrioshka Brain—a hypothetical megastructure proposed by transhumanist thinker Robert Bradbury that makes your gaming PC look like an abacus made of popsicle sticks. Named after Russian nesting dolls (matryoshka), this theoretical construct involves concentric shells of computing material surrounding a star, capturing nearly 100% of its energy output for computational purposes.

The concept represents the logical extension of intelligence's hunger for computing power—why stop at planet-based servers when you could harness an entire star? Each layer would capture energy and information from the layer above it, creating a computational cascade of almost unfathomable power, theoretically capable of simulating entire universes or hosting countless uploaded consciousnesses.

The psychedelic color scheme references both the trippy nature of far-future speculation and the transformative rainbow aesthetic popular in transhumanist and singularity-focused communities. The circular text "YOU WANT INTELLIGENCE? HOW TOMORROW THINKS" positions the wearer as someone who casually contemplates post-human computational architectures while others worry about mundane concerns like climate change or whether their crush liked their Instagram post.

Perfect For:

• Futurists who find Black Mirror scenarios "quaintly optimistic"
• Computer scientists whose desktop setup is already approaching Dyson Swarm status
• Anyone who's ever explained Kardashev scales at parties unprompted
• Transhumanists planning to upload their consciousness (eventually)
• Philosophy majors who want to thoroughly confuse their professors

Product Details:

• Made from cotton atoms arranged in a complexity several orders of magnitude less impressive than a Matrioshka Brain
• Machine washable (unlike theoretical megastructures that would disintegrate washing machines into component particles)
• Available in sizes S-XXXL, because post-human intelligence comes in all pre-singularity packages

• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico

Disclaimers: 
• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.
• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.

Size guide