High Fibre Optic Diet T-Shirt | Tech Pun Apparel

For those whose bandwidth is more impressive than their waistline

Product Description

Finally, a diet plan that IT professionals can actually stick to! Our "High Fibre Optic Diet" t-shirt celebrates the only type of fiber that technologists willingly consume in large quantities—the kind that transmits data at the speed of light, not the kind that helps you maintain digestive regularity (though both prevent different types of bottlenecks).

This techno-chic shirt features retro-futuristic typography that looks like it was ripped straight from a 1990s cyberpunk novel cover, back when the internet was still considered magical instead of merely essential for human existence. The bold, angular text hovers over a halftone dot pattern that either represents binary code or the visual snow you experience after staring at monitors for 14 consecutive hours.

Perfect for network engineers whose only exercise is running cables, programmers whose idea of "getting more fiber" is upgrading their internet connection, and anyone who's ever explained the difference between megabits and megabytes at a dinner party where nobody asked.

The Backstory

This design brilliantly plays on the homophone of "fiber/fibre" – creating a delicious pun that straddles the worlds of telecommunications infrastructure and nutritional advice. While doctors recommend a high-fiber diet for digestive health, IT professionals know that a high-fibre optic connection is essential for digital health – and this shirt celebrates those who prioritize the latter over the former.

The dotted background pattern references both the binary foundation of computing and the cross-section view of actual fiber optic cables, which use light pulses to transmit information. The retro-tech aesthetic harkens back to the early days of the internet revolution when blazing speeds of 1.5 Mbps would cause tech enthusiasts to weep tears of joy, unlike today when we throw tantrums if Netflix buffers for three seconds.

Perfect For:
-Network administrators who have stronger opinions about cable management than foreign policy
-IT professionals whose diet primarily consists of energy drinks and whatever's in the vending machine
-Anyone who's ever explained that "no, restarting the router isn't a magic solution for everything... except when it is"
-The person responsible for telling everyone the Wi-Fi is down before they've had their morning coffee
-That friend who knows the difference between multimode and single-mode fiber but can't remember to drink water

Product Details:
-Made from cotton that's far less complicated than explaining TCP/IP protocols to your parents
-Machine washable, unlike your company's legacy codebase
-Available in sizes S-XXXL, accommodating tech professionals of all bandwidths

• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico

Disclaimers: 
• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.
• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.

• Traceability:
- Knitting—Honduras, the Dominican Republic
- Dyeing—Honduras, the Dominican Republic
- Manufacturing—Nicaragua, Honduras, Haiti, El Salvador, or the Dominican Republic
• Contains 0% recycled polyester
• Contains 0% dangerous substances

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

Size guide