Amherst Clarification T-Shirt | Elite College Identity Crisis Tee

For those whose prestige requires asterisks and footnotes

Product Description

Behold, the sartorial equivalent of interrupting someone mid-sentence to offer an unsolicited correction! Our "Amherst: THE COLLEGE (No, Not the University in Mass.)" t-shirt is what happens when institutional identity crisis meets passive-aggressive typography in a delightful cotton blend.

This cream-colored conversation-starter features regal purple lettering arranged in the classic collegiate arch that screams "I paid approximately $76,000 per year to learn the difference between 'affect' and 'effect'." The laurel wreath cradles what appears to be the sacred Amherst book of knowledge—presumably containing chapter one: "How to Politely Remind People You Don't Go to UMass."

The crowning achievement is, of course, the desperate clarification "NO, NOT THE UNIVERSITY IN MASS." positioned with the urgency of someone who's had this exact conversation at every family reunion since freshman orientation. It's the sartorial equivalent of saying "Actually..." before someone has even finished their thought.

The Backstory

This design brilliantly lampoons the peculiar anxiety suffered by attendees of Amherst College—an elite liberal arts institution forever doomed to be confused with the University of Massachusetts Amherst by taxi drivers, distant relatives, and literally anyone who doesn't subscribe to U.S. News & World Report's college rankings newsletter.

Founded in 1821 (as the shirt helpfully informs us, lest we confuse it with all those other Amhersts founded in different years), Amherst College has spent two centuries cultivating academic excellence and one burning desire: that people stop asking if their mascot is the Minuteman. The laurel wreath symbolizes victory—presumably over the crushing disappointment of telling people where you went to college only to have them respond, "Oh, I know someone who went to UMass!"

Perfect For:
-Amherst College alumni tired of explaining that their alma mater isn't a state school
-Parents who paid full tuition and want appropriate geographical recognition
-Anyone who has ever corrected someone's pronunciation of "Amherst" at a dinner party
-Liberal arts graduates whose entire personality is "I went to a small, selective college you might not have heard of"
-People who enjoy ironic fashion statements about higher education hierarchy

Product Details:
Made from 100% cotton, unlike your Amherst degree which is made from 90% prestige and 10% crippling student debt
Machine washable, though the smug satisfaction never fades
Available in sizes S-XXXL, because pretentiousness comes in all shapes

• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico

Disclaimers: 
• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.
• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.

• Traceability:
- Knitting—Honduras, the Dominican Republic
- Dyeing—Honduras, the Dominican Republic
- Manufacturing—Nicaragua, Honduras, Haiti, El Salvador, or the Dominican Republic
• Contains 0% recycled polyester
• Contains 0% dangerous substances

Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.

In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Technium Foundry LLC and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 2201 Gibson Rd., Jacksonville, FL 32207, USA or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.

Size guide